I have no blog because the only thing I’ve done since school ended last Tuesday is eat holiday fudge and write poems worthy of AA. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a poem about denial!
So I’ll spare you my list of bah-humbugs because most of them are dumb, and some of them are just embarrassing, like how I put my sweater on backwards last night and it took me a solid thirty minutes to figure out why it looked weird.
That reminds me of the old “The good, the bad, and the ugly” stories I used to read, like:
the good: you finally bought that new fancy push-up bra you’ve been wanting.
the bad: you were so sleep deprived this morning, you put it on backwards.
the ugly: it fit better.
the good: you finally decided to have “the birds and the bees” talk with your fourteen-year-old daughter
the bad: she kept interrupting
the ugly: with corrections.
I will say my family had a pleasant Christmas morning, despite my dad saying, “Enjoy today because tomorrow you get your car insurance bill.”
It seems like all I’ve done for the last five months is write checks. Who needs Europe in the summer, though, really? I’d rather be taking classes to earn my teaching license from people who can’t respond to a fricken email after a month and a half. Even better, his voicemail message states: “Do not, I repeat, DO NOT leave a voice message. I will not respond. The only effective way to contact me is through email.” The only email I’ve received from him was an automatic reply that says he’ll be out of the office until January 7th. Great. It’s like working with my thesis advisor all over again.
Okay, okay! Christmas cheer time!
Here is something kind of neat. Dartmouth reached out to me on this holiday in big bold letters and made me pine for Hanover.
I think Robert Frost would have enjoyed my use of the word “pine” in the previous sentence, given the content of most of his poems.
Also some holiday cheer: the Cowboys lost in OT. Granted, they didn’t lose to the Eagles (can anybody lose to the Eagles?), and New England won their game (Tom Brady’s head swelling is as joyful as a blog clot), but tis the season to give thanks anyway.
I will conclude with these words from my local newspaper.
Just one more reason to be thankful this Christmas: literacy in America.